The Second Letter (IFS)

“IFS helps people become bodhisattvas of their psyches.”

― Richard C. Schwartz

Dear those of you who have found yourselves stumbling upon my blog. Thank-you for being here.

So what is IFS? I feel like we can’t even talk about my book until we discuss Internal Family Systems work. As an IFS therapist I spend most of my waking time discussing, exploring and unburdening the parts of my clients. It was only after delving into my own parts that I realised how profound an experience it can be. To be in touch with conflicting elements of yourself and ultimately hear their stories. This is why this is such a core theme in my book.

It's a long gone theory that the mind is unitary, and instead we are now seeing that we all consist of many parts, be they judgemental, critical, perfectionist or even avoidant. We all have different parts, with different narratives, that seek to support us in understanding ourselves and our place in the world. However it's when these parts are burdened by the trauma we carry that we need to explore how they impact us. As I always say to my clients, which part is driving the car?

So now let me help you talk about your own parts...

IFS is most frequently broken down into the following areas:

1. The Self

The Self is the undamaged, compassionate core of every individual. It is not a part itself but the natural leader of the system. When accessed, it embodies the "8 Cs": 

2. The Three Types of Parts

Parts take on specific roles, often in response to trauma or life stress, to protect

• Exiles: Vulnerable parts (often "inner children") that carry the pain, shame, or fear from past trauma. To protect the system from being overwhelmed by this pain, other parts keep them "exiled".

• Managers: Proactive protectors that manage daily life and try to keep the person in control to prevent Exiles from being triggered. They may appear as perfectionism, an inner critic, or people-pleasing.

• Firefighters: Reactive protectors that step in when an Exile's pain breaks through anyway. They use impulsive or extreme behaviors to "extinguish" the emotional fire, such as substance use, binge eating, or dissociation. 

Those of you existing in a parts lead system, you are not alone. For so long now my parts have sought to self sabotage, struggle and ultimately collide into each other, resulting in a complete overwhelm of system. My book serves as a lifeline to feeling seen and acknowledged, you are not your parts.

Any questions? Don't think twice about leaving a comment here.

Lou x x x